I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
