I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Dignity is for republicans.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
