So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
