I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
