You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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