Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
