so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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