I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
