I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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