Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
