Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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