So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
