Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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