i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
