If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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