a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
