I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
