is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
