He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
