I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
