i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My dick has a subreddit
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
