"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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