i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
