dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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