I think I am morally bankrupt
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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