id be glad to
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
