I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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