Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
