He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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