Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
