There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
