But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
two words: eviction party
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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