My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
