and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
