I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
What a dumb baby whore.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
