This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
