This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
she told me i tasted like america
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Randomize
