Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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