Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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