And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Jerry, you need to find god
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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