i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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