why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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