so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
