Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
