We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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