i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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