I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
