he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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