I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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