I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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