I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
