careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
