i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
