im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
