i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
