i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
