I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
