YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Randomize
