I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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